Forbidden...part 1

“Puff…puff…” a young girl ran across the backyard of the hospital under the rain. She dances beautifully. A young boy behind the glass of window look at her, his eyes wonders who she is. 
“You, how many time I told you not to go under the rain! You are sick!” a nurse holding an umbrella quickly walked towards her. She stops dancing and glance up at the boy. She smiled at him, he quickly turn away in shocked that she actually smile at him.
“Hi, you are the boy who always look at the sky.” The sudden voice makes him jump, as he glares at her. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you…” she shyly walked towards him and touches his hand. He looked at her and at that moment he knew that she was the one he wants to be with. The smile on her face he eagerly wants to protect. They chatted and laugh in please but fate cruelly brings them apart. 
“I won’t forget you!” she shouted at him, standing at the gate looking at his back. He turns around looking at her crying face. He looked at his father than at his hands. His father nodded his head, the young boy ran back towards her holding her hand closely to his. 
“For this key can only open this lock,’ he said silently into her ears. As he wear the key around her neck and locking his lock around his neck. “I will wait for you to come and find me. No matter where we may be I will find you to open this lock.” He smiled and kisses her hands. Nurses and witnesses all sign with a happy joy laugh. He turns his back once more, knowing he will protect that smile. The young girl who promises herself not to cry burst into tears.
“I will remember you Vaugh!! I will remember you!!” She screamed at the tope of her lungs. He turns around wanting to give her the most charming smile he got. But as he turns around…
[V...GH...Le...UT…LET...OUT...OH MOTHER FUCKER JUST LET ME OUT!!!!] A voice screams in his head sending him screaming in the middle of the class. His teacher looked at him furiously. 
“VAUGH!!GET OUT OF MY CLASS!!!” Miss Ruby his homeroom teacher screamed at the tops of her lungs chasing him out of the class with her book. [Man, that Vaugh always sleeping in class…] classes continued as usual and soon the bell ring for school to end and activities to start. 
“Out of all place this is where the prince charming had been hiding.” Jasfer, Vaugh best friend with light blue eyes and build up body the second prince charming in school, he lay next to Vaugh and sign. “Dude, you know you should stop sleeping class. You are getting Miss Ruby pist off you know.” All he got for an answer was a big sign for Vaugh. They lay there looking at the skies. 
“Hey, you know I dreamt about that girl again.” Vaugh started to talked.
“The one in your childhood?” 
“Yea…that girl. I really wonder who is she…and why I keep on stopping at the part I turn around wanting to look at her for the last time?”
“Could it be that something wants you to forget about her?” 
“No idea. I feel like I am into something but still don’t know what it is about…” he touches the lock around his neck. [All I know is this lock will bring me to her…or maybe bring her to me…] they lay there silently until the school activity had end. 
“Oops! I got to go! My dad is coming home!” Vaugh laugh and jump around the place happily. It has been a year since he last saw his father. The sunset was beautiful and the moon was already up. [Ah…what a beautiful full moon it will be tonight.] He thought to himself. He reaches his home, the excitement he had felt in years. [Why is all the light off?] He walked inside silently. “Mom…Dad…Lucy?” he call softly. [Where are they?] “Hey guys, stop it. You can come out now I am already spoke.” He walked slowly into the hall. He felt his legs stepping on something wet, the moon light shine brightly into the room. He looked down slowly and there at his feet was a pull of red water. A pair of hands slowly appears at the back holding him down covering his mouth. He struggle and started scream but the voice behind him froze him on the spot. 
“Shhh…listen,”
“Mom?”
“Shhh…listen my boy, you got to run…run away! RUN!!!” she screamed as something pulled her away from him. He slowly turns around looking into the eyes of his worst nightmare. There stood something fury and its fangs, snarling at Vaugh. Vaugh screamed as it threw his mother aside like a trash. Vaugh ran for his life, turning back each time looking at the beast after him. [This has to be nightmare! Wake up Vaugh!] He screamed in his mind. 
‘You don’t have to run,’ a voice appear in his head. ‘You won’t have to die.’ It continued to speak. [Who are you?] ‘Me? I am you, you are me. Who else can I be?’ the beast lunch at him, but he dodge. The beast snarled at him. ‘If you don’t want to die than you got to let me out’ [How the hell am I going to do that?] he screamed again dodging every single attack the beast gave him. ‘Can you stop screaming? I am here you know.’ [Help me…] Vaugh plead in his mind. ‘I can help you…all you have to do is to call me name.’ before Vaugh could reply the beast caught him. 
“Your family is delicious, and I smell a great deal in your blood too.” Vaugh stare at it shocked that it actually talked. [Help me…] he again pleads in his mind. ‘CALL MY NAME!’ the voice screamed! 
“Darkness of all soul hear my plead, JOSEPH!!” Vaugh screamed at the top of his lungs to the moon. Slowly he felt the burst of energy run trough him. His body toughens up; he felt his hand sharpen into claws. The beast started to tremble in fear, as it watches Vaugh change. 
“No…it couldn’t be. The eyes of heaven and hell, the claws of the dragon, the wings was a devil. You can’t be, you can’t be that forbidden child.” It started to tremble even more. Vaugh felt the anger in him, he crush the beast head into pieces, but the thirst in his throat eager him to find more blood. He raises his head slowly, sniffing the air. 
‘Ah…the human smell their juicy blood.’ [I want it so bad.] Slowly his body started to move charging at the innocent human. As he got closer and closer, Vaugh suddenly realize his action. He wanted to stop but no longer was he controlling his own body. [Please make it stop!] He started to scream again. [Joseph, make it stop!] But no reply was given to him. He started to panic as got closer to the old lady he was after. [Help someone!] He screamed. Suddenly his body jerk to a stop, he sniff the air again. 
“Stop you beast!” a high female voice but firm and fierce shouted from behind. He turns around finding a young girl with silver hair standing there looking at him. [Help me!] He screams again, but his body charges towards her. She jumps up high avoiding his attack, something sparkle around her neck. He couldn’t make out what it was but it worked on taking his attention. “Vaugh, stop this!” she talked again. [How does she know my name?] He snarled at her, ready himself with an attack position. “Vaugh listen to me, I know you don’t want to hurt anyone. So please stop.” [I want to! But I can’t. Please help me!] He called out in his mind. “Vaugh…please…” she pleads in her eyes there was a pain and sad mix around with a little happiness. He charges at her, raising his claw, the next thing he knew and felt was a sharp pain on his heart. He fell onto the ground, slowly changing back into his human form. She kneeled down beside him, holding him in his arms. “Vaugh…I am sorry. I am so sorry.” She started to cry. [Why are you sorry?] He thought. [Where have I seen you before?] A gold key hang from her neck, as she held him close to her. Tears fell onto his face. [Salty…] He sight slowly fading. [Why are you crying? Why do you have the key?] He has so many questions to ask. His vision slowly fade, he saw her talking but couldn’t make out the words. [Who are you? What are you saying?] He pass out, and opening his eyes with the loud ring of his alarm clock. [Morning already? Mom, dad, Lucy?!] he quickly rush down stairs. 
“What is the rush boy?” a sound so familiar to him.
“Father!” he rush towards his dad hugging him tightly.
“Wo-ah, what happen to you? You look like you haven’t seen me in like a thousand years.” His dad laugh. 
“Don’t ask anything dad I am just glad you are here.” He hugs them tightly. His father looked at mother thinking something was wrong with his son. But little did they know that everything is about to begin…

To be continued!  

His Guilt

In the dark place
Where no one knows
A girl with a devil heart
Cries alone
Abandoned by her parents
For she belongs to the devil
High above an angel saw
His heart soften
Thinking she is just a child
He left his palace
Wanting to be her guardian
He held his arms wide
Welcoming her in his arms
She cries as she walked
Tearing even more
She lay in his arms
Looking into his light blue eyes
He stroke her gently
Humming a beautiful lullaby
But soon felt a pain in his heart
He looked down at the little girl
As she no longer look innocent
Her bright red eyes
Stare at him with tears still falling
He fell down on the earth
Regretting helping her
As God above shook his head
Guilty fills his heart
For creating this devil
To rule the underworld
And hide it into this little girl's heart.

Guardian Angel

Imagine she holding my hand
Imagine she kissing my lips
The warm and sweet taste of her gum
Flowing into my mouth
I remember holding her in my arms
I remember her smile
Everything she said
Linger in my head
Everything she does
Stays memory in my heart
I look into the sky now
Wondering where she is
I know I can never have her
For she is happy with someone
Far above the sky
Jess, I could never say goodbye
I am standing here before your grave
Holding the black rose you love
No matter how much I pray
For you to return to me
But I wish you could be
My guardian angel from the above

She fell to earth
Down to hell
The sin she did
Was falling in love with Lucifer from hell
She lay there screaming in pain
Her wings nailed to the wall
The devils pluck her feathers each day
Lucifer stood before her one day
He smile with please
Knowing that the purest angel
The royal angel had fell for him instead
He let her go
Holding her in his arms
She sobs heart tears away
Looking into his dark black eyes
He whispers something in her ear
Causing her to scream again
Her white wings slowly turn black
She looks one last time into the sky
She lay in his arms
Gasping for air
Here comes the Queen
Of the Red Rose Garden of Despair
Cover by blood
She took all those souls
She drank their blood
She cut their throat
She laughs in please
Her smile widen
But deep in her heart
She aches even more!

They say that you are dumb
A person who only knows how to study
In school they always call you a pig
And a old fashion girl
They make fun of you
I didn't know anything about you
I thought the rumors were true
You sat at the corner
Munching down your sandwich
Soon I was assign to you
For a science project on due
You smile and say you were glad
That I didn't reject
We help each other
And we share our problem
But one day they came
With anger and jealousy
They stab you behind my back
They left you there dead for good
Lucky I found you
Doctors shook their heads
I finally stood before you
Tears started to fill my eyes
But the thing that make me cry
Is your smile and touch
Your eyes were shinningY
our smile was bright
Your last words to me
Touch deep down in my heart
Thank you Amanda
And you will always be my shinning star!

I don’t know if it just me or is it the same with you. Everywhere I went you are there sitting with your friends. Your eyes always glancing into my group of friends right into my eyes. I always thought that I’m just imagining things but as days pass by it just became so clear that I was the one you are looking at. I didn’t know who you were, I didn’t know where were from just that you are the mysterious guy that I always see around. No matter in cafeteria or computer lab to the school library there you are sitting there either with friends or by yourself studying. Those cloths you wear caught my attention your style caught my eyes, sometimes I wonder if it is just fate doing its job after all. But I rather not put my hopes high until one day you came to me. Sat beside me in the computer lab, I sat there nervous at first thinking should I say hi or should I just shut up…. But you again save me from the breaking point, you said hi and introduce yourself.
At that moment your voice caught me off-guard. Damn…I don’t know what to say. Introduction was made, your eyes kept on looking into mine. Embarrass by it I kept on looking away, back into the screen of my assignment. There you sat no longer talking just looking into my screen. I guess you knew I was nervous; you took a book out writing down the words you feel like saying. Again you said your name and asked for mine, we sat “talking” and I guess it was kindda fun. Hehe, we started to go out as friends and slowly we knew each other more.
Weeks pass and soon now is a month later, and here I am writing a blog about you. Finally you asked me out, holding my hand your eyes looked deep into my soul, scare as always I was, holding on to the thought that you couldn’t be the one and another heart breaking will be done, or could you like some other guys who lied or maybe dislike my friends?? But you arms gave me the security that you could accept who I am, or who I was in the pass. Now we walked together, held each other tighter den ever, I couldn’t imagine a world without you. I can’t words into this feeling all I can say is I really do love you…:) muaks!!!!

I want to watch the moonlight,
Held close in your embrace...
The starlight sky above me,
As I look into your face.
To rest my weary head,
Comfortingly next to you...
Coz there's no where on this earth,
I'd rather be than be with you.
Sweet moments here I cherish,
With no thought of self or time...
Just knowing every heartbeat,
That you take so close to mine.
It fills me.. it completes me,
The love you've given me...
I never shall forget it,
Because it's become a part of me.

Cold and Stiff

The thousand screams
Rush out into the face of earth
The blackness of a broken heart
Float around in endless time
Her eyes no longer had the smile
The smile of an innocent angel
Wishing to be held by big wide arms
Her smile no longer exist
As her heart has been broken into pieces
The moment she needed someone
No one was there to held her in their arms
The moment she need someone
To cry and scream on
No one was there to clam her down
She screams for help in her heart
She pleads God to give her a path
But no one
No one had ever answer her prayers
No one had even listen to her heart calls
She shut herself in her shell
She screams to herself in her shell
Slowly day passes by
And soon she held her arms tight
She locked away her mind
She show no emotion
Only a smile to please people
Every night she screams
Every night she cut herself
As the blood flows down
As the sharp pain she felt
Slowly she gasped for air
Knowing she is still alive
She cut her wrist even deeper
Smiling as she feels the pain every second
But soon her life was drawn away
Into nothingness and emptiness
Where her body lay
Cold and stiff
Her soul slowly fades away.

No longer can she fly
As she lost her grace
The memory so dear to her
Slowly fades away
There at the face of earth
She stood high and mighty
Mortal to the God above
No memories, nothing she could know
But the voices rings in her head
The world will end
Under the hands of time
The hero of the world
Lay in hell
The rise of Lucifer
The prophecy shall be true
The land that all angels love
Soon will perish into dusk and flame
The demon will come
To take her away
Bring her to their lord
Where he lay
Her fear of death
And her love for God
She ran into darkness
Killing herself in the arms of the angels
She screams her soul to fly
Fly into heaven where she belongs
She had serve her God
To her last breathe

The Return Of The Werewolf

I ran away from home, from the sight that I can’t ever imagine. Blood spatter on my shirt, I ran as fast my feet can fly, running into the dark universe I can never imagine. Ever cell in my body is burning in flame; I can’t stand the pain as I ran. My nightmare never seems to move away, he stood there behind me everywhere I go, his cunning smile on his face never seem to fade. His evil smile make the hair behind my neck stand, he lick his lips showing his fangs covered by blood. As he walk his body slowly change, no longer a man was walking behind me, but a wolf, a werewolf stood there. His saliva drop down to the face of earth, I knew that I got to run again before he sank his fangs into me again. I ran into an abandon house, covering my mouth to muffle my scream, I control my breathing so his ears won’t pick up any sound of me. But I know he will smell me out, I just lay there hoping that he had something wrong with his nose. The thrilling pain grew worst every minute I muffle my scream, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I scream into the dark night sky, I body burning in thousand flames, knife stabbing into my soul and guts. I stood up higher than usual; I look at his tall dark fury body. I growled in anger, wanting to take the revenge. I want to tear him apart I want to kill him the same way he kill my parents, but his sad eyes stop me. His eyes shine beautifully under the night sky; I knew that I can’t harm him. His body scent came into me, I knew this person, and I know his from a long time ago. His smile no longer cunning but please, he bowed his head down lowering his pride. For I’m his queen and princess, he has been waiting for me for a thousand years. He had let his pride down for me. I howl to the moon, thanking her to guide my king and prince to me. For I am the leader of the night, the hunter for vampires and the soul of eternity!

If only there is a soul
Who will save the people on earth
If only there is a soul
Who will give everything he had to the poor
A young girl sat at her room
Dirty and ran down
She sat there praying to her God
To grant her that beautiful soul
She will steal from the rich
And give it to the poor
She will save the sick one
And give her life up to them
She pray that someone can grant her
The power of a warrior
The power of an angel
The sight of an eagle
And the strength of a dragon.
She will take the sword
And kill those who are in her way
For she is Auther
The future king to be
For her name carry the legend
And prophecy
And she will be the KING.

Welcome To My World

She sat the corner, her arms held on tight to her teddy bear. She doesn’t know where or what she was in, all she knew is around her was pitch black without a single hope of light. She sat there looking into the darkness, her tears roles out from her eyes, her heart scream towards her parents, but something was pulling her voice behind. Slowly she falls asleep, leaving the reality world behind her. After hours or maybe days, it finally stops. She was too sleepy to tire to move or talk all she did was holding on to her teddy bear tight so that no one can separate her from it. She heard the door in front of her opened. Her heart beat like a thousand bullets shooting out from a machine gun. She closes her eyes even tighter, hoping they won’t know she was awake. Voices of man was heard, a language that she don’t know. One of them gently carries her out from the can, she felt herself floating in a wonderful world. Like she was flying away, the wind blew gently at her face. Something opened and a fragrant of rose smile swept into her nose. She took a deep breath, enjoying her last moment of human life before she becomes a slave to this mysterious people. Slowly again she fall into deep sleep, the next thing she knew she was laying on her soft bed and silky cloth touching her skin. She jump up and look around, she was dressed in a pink silk night gown, and her teddy bear clean and fresh stayed beside her. The light was strong and she took time to focus, around the room was dolls and laces stuff. She never in her life had this room, or even seen this type of room. The door crack open, a gentle man walked in with a smile on his face, her pale wide face relaxes and she saw him. He called her name gentle with love. She stares into his eyes looking for clues of her being in this place. He took her around the house showing his family to her, all of them greeted her with please and kindness. Night soon came and she was back in her room, the moon light shine in beautifully into her white gown. He came in asking her question, but she couldn’t understand. She shook her head looking sad in her eyes. He hugs her tightly, using songs to clam her down. So long she had never felt this warmth of a person. A sharp pain on her neck was felt, she screams but he covered her mouth with his hand. Flash back of memory swept by her eyes. Than she realize she was sold, sold to this man who said he can save her life from that sickness. She stopped her struggle towards this man, she stop her breath, letting him drink her blood to she is dry. She felt her blood flowing into him, hearing his thoughts at the same time. Her white dress was taint with blood like rose. She couldn’t muffle her scream and his hands had let go. She screams and her felt her teeth grew longer. Fangs was shown, he got up licking his lips. Now no longer a human but a night creature who no one knew about, this man had save her life. Now she stands tall on the high buildings, looking down at the pathetic world she once knew, as screams from the back alleys was heard, she lick her lips and creak a smile in please. Everyone of her victim was never given any mercy; she tore them apart letting their blood flow into her mouth in please. She is the night justice to the people in normal day life, but to the government and police, she is the murderer they can never figure out. At the end of her day, all she will say “WELCOME TO MY WORLD”.

A Night In A Hunted House

The moon light shines into the massive hall, the dust dances around the room. White sheets covers the house, many people saw “things” in this house. Some saw light flicking in the rooms some heard the piano played late at night and some even heard a woman crying. This house has been named hunted for a very long time and no one ever dared to stayed in this house until tonight a stupid boy stood up for a dare and end up in this mess. I sat there at the corner of the room not wanting to attract any attention, every second passes by it felt like hours. I sat there controlling my shivering body. The grandfather clock sang through the hall into the rooms and out into the open air. Midnight strike as I sat there looking into the hall, I really regret that I accepted tat stupid dare. As the moon light was covered by the clouds, a pair of golden eyes appeared at the other corner of the room. It stares at me, ready to hunt my down. So much I feel like screaming, but as my mind was screaming to run my legs walked towards the eyes. Each every move I took its eyes follows my move, as I got closer it became tenser ready to pounce at its prey. As I got into the close range, it jumps out from the darkness. I fell backwards, dropping on my back; my hands quickly covered my face, I lay there waiting for its claws and fangs to sink down my meat slowly devour me as I scream. But the suspends took a long time to come.
“Meow~~” a cat? A cat?! I was actually imagining a cat as beast? I laughed at my stupidity, as I sat back at my corner. But the night is long, I sat there my heart no longer had its machine gun in it anymore. I sat there thinking of all the happy things, suddenly from the main entrance into the house the door creak open. Its creaking sound echo through the house. Footsteps was heard, its no animal footsteps, it was human footsteps; its rhythm don’t belongs to any animal. The footsteps got closer each time, I got up as silent as possible and started my journey out from the hall away from the footsteps. Could this be the owner of the house ready to take my soul? Could I have angered him by staying in his house? Machine guns are heard from my heart, each second passes by the machine gun doubles it’s shooting. I quicken my footsteps running away from the footsteps, but as I quicken it also quicken. It was chasing, I pray screaming to the lord in my heart. But unlucky me I trip and fell straight flat on my face. I cover my face again waiting for its hands to strangle me alive. Its cold hand touches my shoulder I scream like a kid, I can say if I got enough pee I would had pee in my pans.
“Lucifer…Lucifer!” that voice called to me, shaking me really hard. I know that voice, I know that voice anywhere. I was so relief when I saw my elder brother standing in front of me with his touch light. I was worried that his stupid brother will be in trouble and he had come for me! I was glad that he had come, we sat back down at the floor waiting for the sun rises in the morning. As the dawn light broke the sky, and the first ray light shine into the massive hall we walk out into the yard. I never loved the sun like that day, now I know that there aren’t any such things as werewolf or ghost. Everything are just our mind that are playing trick on us, I felt so relief that my legs went limb. My brother smiled at me, I never loved him so much as I love him now. Thank God everything is over, and I think I’ll never take another dare for staying in a hunted house ever again.

First day...sound kindda boring...

Man…you wanna know what happen today? I tell you it was kindda fun and kindda boring. You see the orientation today starts at 10 but they asked us to gather at 9 o’clock. So I waited at the hall for the event to start. And let’s see….well…a Chinese girl from Brunei sat beside me her name was…let me think again, wait I know is coming into my mind…oh ya! It was Lina J she was cool and nice too. But the course she was taking was music. I think I was interested to ask her more, but u know I don really like to talk so much on the first day. Later a malay girl sat on my left side and well….she was from Brunei too! Both of them are older than me, and well… haha I’m the youngest. Later on as the speech started and the teachers are introduce to us, the student council took over the event. We played a few game and well get to know each other. You see at that progress I met another guy name Nigel. He was taming music course too, we went for lunch together in summit at Mcd and everyone have their time talking about crazy stuff, Nigel was kindda quiet in the group but is ok cause we talked to him and make him talk J lol I know we are kindda mean…. Then later speeches bout do’s and don’ts was given to us and well as the rest of the rules and stuff to know. I got to know another girl name aryssa…I think it is spelled like tat she was doing the same course as me. J Lucky I could make a friend, I was nervous of not making any new friends. The whole thing stops at 4 sharp but I was to go home at 6 like tat. So I sat at the hall waiting for time to pass and well…wat can u expects me to do in an hour? So I went to every fall and see what is what and well….look into teacher bout the music rooms. I was glad that they allowed non-music course student to use the practice music room for their needs if they wanna play their piano too. Well… my day went like tat and I eat some food before going home, mom and dad went for dinner in some kind of event returning home around 9 something and mom rush to her badminton. But by the look on her face I think she really had a great time J hahhaa I think tat’s all for today and I hope my classes will be fun by Monday. Now is the transport problem only. Wish me luck!!

New Life

Yeppy!!! Finally there is there a time for me to spend time outside!! My life after NS has been real boring. Staying at home doing house chores and stuff really make me mad. I thought I was going to go crazy. Now tomorrow is my day at college in segi J I mean I cant wait for college to start! Wish me luck in my first day…and let’s see….wish me luck in makin new friends too…. Yeppy!!!

A stupid deal

Taking back the words she said
Slamming the door in front their face
Crying alone in a room
She lay dead
She pray to God
Hoping He could hear her
But her prayers has never been heard
And nothing is done to her world
She tries harder each time
Hoping she will get it right.
But no one will look at her
And help her out
She slam the door again
Shutting herself into a dark universe
A voice whispers in her head
Granting the wishes she wants
Someone to understand
Someone to care
Not like her parents
Who only want to compare
The voice granted her wish
And the deal was made
Cold blood fills the house
With nothing left to be seen
She couldn’t believe her eyes
And she could believe the deal
How stupid was she
To strike a stupid deal
Now she knew that it wasn’t God who grant her the wish
It was the devil
Who took his chance with the condition she is in
She ask forgiveness from the mighty God
But she knew her sin was too great
And couldn’t be forgiven
She bow her head to the god of church
And sank her knees at his cross
Praying and waiting
Hoping that one day He could forgive her
And she could forgive herself

Their secret

The night sky cracked, as a red flaming door appeared. The sight of a devil stood at the top of the massive door. The door slowly cracked open letting the screams from hell burst into the night sky. No human can see the door, but they know that its time someone’s soul will be taken tonight again. The screams grew louder and the night sky was burst with devils and demons. As humans sleep soundly hoping that they won’t be victim to the night creature, a man with red bright wings appeared. His eyes glows brightly, his fangs shows, his smile evilly as he scan for his preys of souls. Human screams were heard from the ally, as their blood splashed on the wall, they screams as the devils plug down into their body. He stood high above sucking the souls into his hands as his people enjoyed playing with the blood and innocent people.

Above in heaven, she looks down at the earth through her globe. Her heart pound and ache as each human was torture, her tears flows down as she cries out to their soul. Her voice reaches no one but him. He stares into the sky right at her face into her eyes. Anger hang in his mind, hatred was shown, he growl in delight. His evil smiles shake her badly, she curses him with anger but her eyes shows love and pain for him, and yet his eyes were the same. No one knew, they were in love, their differences had set them apart, but make their love stronger in certain ways. She reach our her hands to him widely as smile smiles with love, he reach out to her as he cries in agony to see her. They are in love and yet they can’t be together, but within her womb there lays their secret, a child is form. Having both heaven and hell blood within its body. That child shall be the lord of the world, the new law of the heaven and hell. But what could become of her and him and their child? For he is the hell’s lord and king, while she is the heaven’s goddess and queen.

An empty shell and a fading soul

Taking back the words she said
The words that cause their friendship
To end in this way
She take back her life
Her heart, her soul
That she had given to him
But knowing that she will be never gud enough for him
Again she hide my feelings
Again she cry at night
Again she try to shut herself in darkness
But the voice whispers in her mind
Telling her there will be a reward soon
Waiting in the future,
Waiting for her to arrive there
Holding its hands out wide
Welcoming her with love and kindness
Here again she shut herself into darkness
She shut her life into a black universe
She held an invisible knife
Stabbing down into her soul
Killing another part of her pure soul
Killing the human in her
Killing the person she once was again
No longer she’ll have love, emotion or anger
All she is a little doll
With dark past
Who stab into her soul
To become what people want her to be
To be good enough
For people to acknowledge her
For people to love her
But with an empty shell
And a fading soul

Am I dead or alive?

What do you think when the whole world is against you. Even Mother Nature turns her face away from you. I heard people say before that when you are going to die, your life will flash back like pages before your eyes, is it true? No one knew. For me I hated myself, I hated my life no matter what I try to do I never seem to be good enough. Yes the fact is that there are always greater people and better people in the world. But it seem that every corner I turn there is always this type of people waiting for me. My life is surrounded by people with brains and the right attitude that will make every parent proud, but what am I suppose to do in this world when everyone I see is better than me?
This is my life and it has been ruined since I was a child. You see when I was 4 years old; my mom took me to a Yamaha music school in a shopping mall. I was thrill and excited, my parents put me into a pre-primary school and guess what I didn’t even cry on my first day like other kids. I know I was strong and I don’t like to show my weakness to anyone. I thought I am the best among them, I score good grades. What you expect? It’s kina garden! I mean which kids won’t get good results!? So I thought I got all the smart brains like every other people, but guess what everything shatter as I grow up. Follow my brother’s footstep I got into the same primary school as him, a Chinese primary school. Again I didn’t cry at the first day I got there, I even make friends! She was a smart girl too, we are close but things happen between us making us separating into different groups. Being the top 5 in class, slowly I drop. The pressure gets stronger and stronger. As it grew I couldn’t help myself but drop. Every time I see people getting smarter and better it irritate me because I couldn’t be like them. I continued my studies blindly only following my dream of becoming a musician. The way the notes plays around my head and give me encouragement I needed in my life. But at some point I just want to give up my life. I held the knife slowly cutting my wrist; I just want to end my life in this world. The sight of me losing to everyone is just taking me to a level that I hate the world around me.
What can I do? The world is cruel anyway. No matter how much I hated my life or my soul there isn’t anything I could do. The knife just sat there in front of me, begging me to use it, to cut down my wrist to let the blood flow in please. But there is always something stopping me, a voice telling me there is much more to see in the world. That I’m not useless like I think I am, I know it’s true but the pressure are just killing me. And again I put the knife away thinking I could just ignore the pressure once more. I tried finding happiness in my life, I tried loving people and caring for them but it seems that none of them understand my pain. I felt lock up in my cage, my wings being cut away not allowing me to fly. Everyone have their moment to fly someone again whisper in my mind. So I waited for the time to arrive for my life to be free. Years pass after years, the older I grew the pressure just keep coming on. I tried to turn away from this but it always coming back. I change my attitude, and they go scolding me. “Where did the Cleo I knew go?” they always asked me this question. But I wonder again did I really go anywhere? Or is this what they cause me to be? I have totally no idea what I have become. How much I want to answer them that this is me! I am their daughter! But all I could do is stay in silent whisper that I’m already dead.
I grew older knowing that I could no longer be a smart girl anymore. I concentrate more in music as I love music. Music has been with me since I was a child the smoothing music can calm my heart. I know music is beautiful in many ways, but for me music is just like my life. I learn my music until I finish my grade 8 exams and taking diploma too. I fight with music I use music to fight away the evil thoughts around me. But soon it was shattered again. Another person my mom meet her child is a pro in music. She studies music and was success in life. Batter than anyone can be, again someone is better than me. Everything I try to impress them, there is always some bloody people coming into my life and shatter my dreams with a knife. Again the knife stood there in front of me; again I tried to end my life at that moment. I cut myself feeling the pain knowing that I’m alive and not dead. And there again a part of me is dead again. I hide my emotion, I hide my feelings, I hide my pain only letting me feel the pain once in a while to remind myself I’m still alive. As trap as ever, my wings are cut again, a knife stab into my wings and nailed me into the wall. I flap my wings trying to fly but the pain just throb my heart and mind. Another part of me in killed again, so am I dead or alive? Or should I just end my life to stop this miserable life that I’m going through? Or should I keep on listening to the voice whispering in my mind? Keep on living or end my life?

stop pushing me around
stop giving me orders
stop all the things you are planning
cause i'm sick being your doll
obeying your rule
obeying your style
i have my life you live
i have my world to rule
stop forcing me into your dream world
stop making me hu u wan me 2 be
stop puttin hopes on me
cause i can never be
the one u can be proud of

You have such an alluring face,
that keeps my heart beating...
starring at you,
at a long-term gaze,
is an awe-inspiring feeling.
I'd give anything,
to be with you;
a wish-fulfilling prayer...
I know my request will not come true;
all I want is to breathe your air.
You glimpsed at me,
from across the room;
If only you knew what I was thinking...
See that my love is a spreading fume,
it feels like my heart is singing.
Every beat would tell you a story,
on how much you mean to me...
On how you're my pride,
my joy and glory;
this feeling is a boundless loving spree.

nothing is just as they said

everything i've done is just not enough

i said many times that this will end

but you sat at the above just won't stop

giving me different challenges

and not giving me strength

you took all of them away

all my love and happiness

you took my heart away

you took my soul away

now you left me as an empthy shell

so where did my heart go?

where did you put my soul?

i'm so empthy inside

i'm so crumble inside

safe me

i'm really dying now....

if only the mighty God could hear

my plead and request

to guide me through here

to guide him through his days

to wait for my return

if he could talk to me

i'll plead him to tears

to make him wait

to make him stay

if he could hear me

as i pray and plead

oh God who rule the heaven and earth

please help me

i need your mercy and kindness

to shower on me with ur smile

please sent your angels down

to guide me through

help me to make him smile

for i plead you

missed....

AH!!!! i miss them so much!!!! the freedom the live without nagging and scolding!!!!! 

A hatret heart

has been soften

a kind heart

has burst out into tears

the night that many look to

and many turn away

the night that we enjoyed till we drop

and 4get the sorrow ahead

the night to dance

the night to sings

the night that we enjoy and smile

and slowly we are going home

the last farewell

the last wishes

the last war cry we had

Go Delta we shout

4eva Delta we scream

tears pour out more as time passes

hearts broke as time passes

soon it's time

soon everyone will go

3 months of friendship

can never be told

I AM WHO I AM!

Nothing is good in life
When something is gone
Only you will treasure it
What is the treasure in life?
What is the glory of life?
What is the main meaning of life?
I thought we are who we are?
But why am I being someone else?
I know nothing is true in life
Everything is a lie
Everything is happening for a reason 
But for me
My reason
Is to be what I am
What I think
And who I want to be
Nothing can stop me
Nothing can stand in my way
Cause this is who I am….

BACK FROM NS

Heloo…I’m back from NS for a week…and everything is good in NS. I make many new friends and well…some people I don’t kindda like hahaha…the activities there is fun some I skip some I join…lol…that’s is me. I cant stand is the morning and the taking bath part. Have to wake up around 5 in the morning. Much more early den going to skol…i don't wanna wake up so early!!! anyway i got to go already...><><>< see ya!!!