Should I act forever?

Nothing really change in my life. I’m still the old me, who goes around smilling. The pain I’m having inside could never stop bleeding. I smile in pain but no one notice. I talk happily, avoiding people noticing me. But am I doing the right thing? Am I suppose to hide away my pain? I smile to shake away my pain. I laugh and have fun to chase those pain away. But everytime the night come, alone in my dark room. Those pain just burst out from me. I curled like a ball and cover myself up. Crying and sobbing my tears away. I hate the sun rise because I know have to be happy again. Those anyone in this world know the real me. I help people, I’m just like any other kids but I just cant help it. Maybe the pressure had push me to the end. Maybe I’m just different, I don’t really know anymore. Am I going to just smile forever? Am I going to act forever? Or should I really show the real me? Ah!! I don even know who is the really me!!!!